


It Wasn't Your Fault

by deadhuntress



Series: Season 12 Codas [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: And also..., Castiel Blames Himself, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e07 Rock Never Dies, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Self-Conscious Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadhuntress/pseuds/deadhuntress
Summary: “I said yes. I allowed him to possess me. Ultimately, this is my fault.”“It’snot, Cas,” Dean said, closing his eyes again in frustration and leaning against the warm brick of the diner. “It’s not, and I will tell you that every day until you believe it.”Episode coda for 12x07 Rock Never Dies. (Also includes a fluffy bonus!)





	1. It Wasn't Your Fault

Dean knew he was being unusually quiet. He knew that he was acting strange: reluctant to hold Castiel’s hand at dinner and not really responding when the angel wrapped an arm around his waist while they waited outside the diner for Sam to use the bathroom before they headed back to the motel.

“Dean,” Castiel murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of Dean’s jaw. “What’s wrong?”

Dean shrugged noncommittally, stubbornly looking in the other direction and pretending to be deeply interested in the people across the street who were standing outside of a restaurant, talking and laughing loudly as they waited to be seated.

“Dean,” Castiel said again, more insistently this time, shifting so that he was in Dean’s line of sight.

“ _What_ , Cas?” Dean said, trying and failing to keep the exasperation out of his voice. Castiel drew back slightly at his tone and frowned, and Dean felt a small pang of guilt.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Castiel tried again, and Dean had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “You’ve been acting strangely all night.”

“Don’t know what you want me to say, Cas,” Dean muttered.

“I want you to tell me what’s wrong,” Castiel replied. “We said we wouldn’t keep secrets anymore,” he added softly. “Please tell me.”

Dean sighed and finally spoke. “I thought you were finished sacrificing yourself,” he said. “I thought you understood how – how _guilty_ I feel about what happened last year. I hate that I made you feel like you didn’t belong or that you were worthless. Those months without you were awful. I was so scared, Cas,” he admitted. “Terrified that I lost you, that it was my fault.” Castiel opened his mouth but Dean continued before the angel could speak.

“And – and I’m tryin’ to let you make your own decisions and not flip out and give you space when you need it, but sacrificing yourself? Again?” Dean swallowed thickly, feeling hot tears prickling in his eyes. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he said, voice softening. “I can’t lose you.”

Castiel was quiet for a moment. “This wasn’t because of you, Dean,” he said finally. “It has nothing to do with you. It is my responsibility to lock Lucifer back in the cage. I’m the one who let him out; I need to put him back in.”

“It wasn’t your fault!” Dean burst out. He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. “How many times I gotta tell you,” he said. “It’s all of our faults. Sammy and I made the decision to talk to Lucifer in the first place. You wouldn’t’ve even had the chance to get him out if we hadn’t hopped in the cage with him.”

“Regardless,” Castiel said, gaze hardening, “I said yes. I allowed him to possess me. Ultimately, this is my fault.”

“It’s not, Cas,” Dean said, closing his eyes again in frustration and leaning against the warm brick of the diner. “It’s _not_ , and I will tell you that every day until you believe it.”

Castiel sighed quietly. “All right, Dean,” he murmured, apparently giving up for the moment. Dean felt as Castiel pressed up against him, arms around his waist and head tucked under Dean’s chin. Dean finally allowed his body to relax slightly, draping his own arms over Castiel’s shoulders and pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“I need you, y’know?” Dean said softly, tracing nonsensical patterns on the back of Castiel’s neck. Castiel hummed, sounding pleased, and settled more comfortably against Dean’s chest.

“I need you too,” he replied seriously. “Do not doubt that, Dean.”

Dean nodded. “I know.”

They were silent for a few long moments, until they were interrupted by the sound of a gentle cough. Castiel pulled back reluctantly and Dean gave Sam a sheepish look.

“You guys ready?” Sam asked, and Dean nodded, leading them around the corner where the Impala was parked. His fingers remained entwined with Castiel’s and when the three of them piled into the car, Dean tugged Castiel closer for a brief kiss.

“We’ll get him,” he whispered into Castiel’s ear, hoping that Sam couldn’t hear him. “Promise.”

Castiel nodded, and Dean started the car, shooting Castiel a small smile as he pulled away from the curb to the sounds of Led Zeppelin. _They_ would _get Lucifer_ , he thought. They had started this, and they would end it. He was sure of it.


	2. You Dress Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It really wasn’t that big a deal and he shouldn’t have woken Castiel up for something so trivial. He had no reason to be insecure; angels didn’t really care about superficial things like clothes. Castiel liked – loved – Dean for other things, like… like…
> 
> “Do I really dress like a lumberjack?” Dean blurted out, unable to stop himself.
> 
> Castiel tilted his head for a second before the corner of his lips turned up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with the first chapter; it's just another coda that I wrote for 12x07 because the first one was kinda sad.

“Do I really look like a lumberjack?”

“Hmm?” Castiel looked groggy, like he’d been sleeping, though it was possible that he actually _had_ been. Today had surely taken a toll on him and it would certainly do him good to rest, Dean realized, feeling a little pang of guilt for waking the angel up.

“S’nothing, Cas,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Castiel blinked and rubbed his eyes. “Nonsense, Dean,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Dean insisted. “Just go back to – to sleep or whatever you were doing.” He tried to give the angel a reassuring smile, but Castiel just frowned.

“Dean,” he said. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He slid his hand across the bed to cover Dean’s, rubbing his thumb lightly over Dean’s skin.

Dean sighed. “It’s stupid, Cas. Just forget it.” Castiel’s frown deepened, and Dean fought the urge to turn away as he felt his cheeks redden. It really wasn’t that big a deal and he shouldn’t have woken Castiel up for something so trivial. He had no reason to be insecure; angels didn’t really care about superficial things like clothes. Castiel liked – loved – Dean for other things, like… like…

“Do I really dress like a lumberjack?” Dean blurted out, unable to stop himself.

Castiel tilted his head for a second before the corner of his lips turned up. “Dean. You were being an ass about me working with Crowley, I was an ass back to you. I’m sorry, it was rude, though you should know that you have nothing to worry about. Crowley is absolutely no competition to you.” He started to roll over, but stopped when Dean spoke again.

“Yeah, but… do you actually think I dress like a lumberjack?”

Castiel sighed deeply. “No, Dean,” he said. “I think you dress like you, and what you wear doesn’t change my opinion of you. I will love you no matter what you wear.”

Dean could feel his cheeks flaming and was thankful that the room was so dark, though knowing Castiel, he could probably feel the heat radiating from Dean’s body.

“So… so you like the flannel? And the worn jeans? And boots?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes, Dean,” Castiel said, rolling closer and pressing a long kiss to Dean’s lips. “I like the flannel–” another long kiss “–I like the jeans and boots–” a kiss to Dean’s neck “–I like the FBI suits–“ two kisses to Dean’s collarbone and a nip at his shoulder “–I _love_ the pink panties–“

“Cas!” Dean gasped in surprise, glancing around wildly, as if Sam or another motel patron could hear them from the next room.

Castiel ignored him. “And that leather jacket?” he murmured, finding Dean’s lips again. “Feel free to keep that. I am positive that it would look best with the panties.”

“Cas…”

“Maybe those very short jean shorts as well.”

“Casti _el_ ,” Dean moaned as the angel in question fitted a leg between both of Dean’s, brushing the increasingly obvious tent in Dean’s boxers as he did so.

“Yes, Dean?” The angel was smirking, as if he was completely unaware of the effect he was having on Dean. Dean growled and rolled them over so that he was on top of Castiel. From his new position he grinned.

“I’ll wear that for you when we get home,” he said, lips following the contour of Castiel’s jaw. “But for now, do you think I can go without?”

Castiel tilted his head up for a kiss. “I suppose.”

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on Tumblr at [thetideseternaltune](http://thetideseternaltune.tumblr.com/) (main blog) or [hunterangelkisses](http://hunterangelkisses.tumblr.com/) (SPN sideblog)!


End file.
